A fist pump with a loud “YEAH!” started the penultimate week of my first read-through of The Artist’s Way.
Unexpected enough to make the cat bolt off my lap. It wasn’t the first time I vocalized my emotions while reading Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. It certainly kept its promise of “discovering and recovering your creative self.”
“I am an artist. As an artist, I may need a different mix of stability and flow from other people.”
Truer words haven’t been spoken — or written — in my case.
I grew up surrounded by people in a mad scramble to “keep up with the Joneses” and often misrepresent themselves so they can appear “better than.” I was sucked in by that for so long, not knowing any better. Not allowing myself to be — or do — anything that meant I wouldn’t “fit in.”
But the more I tried to fit in, the more I felt left out, lost, and alone.
Fast-forward a few decades and I’m in my SUV driving on a remote road with no cell coverage… no contact with the outside world, surviving and thriving with what I have with me.
And even though I’ve never felt so connected and at peace, I still feel myself straddling the fence, trying to find balance between expectations from others and my own.
I have all the necessities… food, shelter, clothing. I can still work. And I’m a bit more high-tech than what people envision when you mention living in the back of an SUV. I have the power to charge my tech, lights to see at night, and appliances to cook.
But oil and water don’t mix. Shake things up and they may seem to blend but it’s a temporary state.
The Artist’s Way cleared the way and offered clarity and confidence I didn’t realize I lacked. And it all started with Morning Pages.
The Morning Pages
“Write three pages every day.”
Wait… Julia Cameron wants me to write (not type, hand write) three pages, unprompted, daily?!
EVERY morning?!
I’ve never journaled, kept a diary, or written long-form letters. I often find myself struggling with what to write when I’m prompted.
But… I’ve already bought the book. And other people swear by it. So, I started a notebook in my reMarkable tablet.
I found it a struggle to get things out. Sometimes — most times — the only thought that came out was a repeat of the same thing over and over… and over and over.
Picture Jack Nicholson in The Shining, sitting at his typewriter constantly repeating the phrase, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”
It may not have gotten to his axe-wielding levels, but I was “stuck.” The more I spun my wheels, the deeper I sank.
But then something strange happened.
I started writing words, phrases, sentences… complete thoughts!
Sometimes I lost track of the number of pages and wrote four!
I started numbering them to make sure I stopped going over. Then I started noting my start and stop times. How long did it take to brain dump three pages every morning?
Things were looking up. I felt motivated and encouraged.
Then, after a couple of weeks, it got weird.
I caught myself in an unexpected tirade of randomness. I used language that would make a drunken sailor blush. And added a LOT of all caps and underlining to further emphasize it.
I have no idea where it all came from, but Julia Cameron did.
The next day introduced Week 3’s topic of “Recovering a Sense of Power.” The chapter starts with:
ANGER
ANGER IS FUEL. We feel it and we want to do something. Hit someone, break something, throw a fit, smash a fist into the wall…
Huh?! How did she know?!
She predicted the “thing” I discovered and was ready help me address it.
That wasn’t the only time it happened. But fortunately, that chapter also introduced the concept of synchronicity.
So, the next time I found myself going off on a rant in the Morning Pages, I wasn’t caught as off guard as before. I let myself see it through. I expected — and received — the explanation for it in the next chapter of the book.
The Desire to Keep Exploring
Overall, I stuck with it. I’m still writing my Morning Pages. The “Artist Dates” she prescribes continue. And I release stuff I didn’t even realize was there.
I didn’t do a good job with all the tasks. I read the words, but I didn’t finish the prompts or answer the questions. Honestly, I didn’t even start most of them.
I thought they didn’t apply. That’s what I told myself. Julia points out that when you’re at the point of not wanting to do something, it’s probably the thing you should be doing most.
I applied that to the Morning Pages and Artist’s Dates, but not the tasks. And realize now that I was avoiding them. I could — and should — have “tried harder.”
So that’s exactly what I’m doing…
January 1, 2022, I started fresh. A New Year with updated goals.
The process helped free me of the ingrained sense that I need to “fit in” and to “make an effort.” But it’s also unleashed a renewed sense of creativity and motivation to selfishly not say “yes” to everyone but me.
This time through The Artist’s Way, I’m going to stop and reflect on the prompts I’m tempted to skip over.
I’m curious to see how things play out the second time around. Will I get stuck on the same things? I hope not!
Can I push through the tasks I avoided and better honor the process? That’s the goal.
Will it be perfect? Definitely not.
The lesson in The Artist’s Way… I think… is to use the teachings, the questions, the prompts, and especially the Morning Pages and Artist’s Dates, to allow yourself to “let go” of things that take up space in your mind and drain your energy. Things you likely weren’t even aware you were holding on to.
But I realize that as I discover and recover my creative self, it clears the path to “higher creativity” for me, personally and professionally.
We all have different paths in life, but I’m willing to bet if you honor the process, go through each week and try your best, you’ll release things holding you back too.
